:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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