She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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