just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
