My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Buhtt sex?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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