is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
