God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
