Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
