I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
