Yo dont text me then not text me
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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