butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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