Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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