i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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