Pregnant stripper...not hot.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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