I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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