he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
