Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
