The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
