I'd wear matching sweaters with you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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