and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
