Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
