my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
