NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
