It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
