is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I didn't notice because vodka
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
