I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
