Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
