I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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