I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I need a burrito and a hug.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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