Midget sex pt 2 tonight
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
