How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
