She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
