Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
