Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
