I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
