I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
