I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
