Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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