I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
