I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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