White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
