Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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