erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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