I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
