Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
