I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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