I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
