Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
