That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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