Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
