her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I've blown a few things in my day
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
