remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
